So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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