ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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