Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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