I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
