Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
