I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
