I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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