guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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