i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
