She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
