he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
