You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
