We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
