He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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