i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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