Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
