At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
