return my video game
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
