come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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