i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
