ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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