it was like a zeppelin in a condom
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
