she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
