If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we're making bets on your personal life
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
