your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm at about main and main street
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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