just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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