My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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