also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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