Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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