he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
