2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
