She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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