? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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