is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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