My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
