he puts the penis in happiness.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
