she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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