Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
