WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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