I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Randomize
