420 ftw
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Come on in and take your pants off
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