But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
