This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize