Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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