everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
