Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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