so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ๐๐
Yโall did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.๐
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
