i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This girl is more easily done than said...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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