I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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