how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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