I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize