I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
