watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
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So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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