My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
