Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
