Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
