I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
