come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
