found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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