I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
