I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
