I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
