tell your sister to shave her snatch
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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